Complex Algorithm: Love

The social utility and biological evolutionary utility for it to this day are unknown, granted most complex emotions are not but there is a distinct resonance to us humans when we consider love. While most people will feel love most of us will never understand it, but perhaps it's better off this way. Mabye the human ability to love was some form of external purpose we provided ourselves to give meaning outside of hunting and foraging. Or mabye the life long companionship provided by "falling in love" gives way to a whole new light of understanding. Very likely I'm sure of it.

Your probably thinking "wow he can even talk about love in such a computated way", but allow me to relate to you.

To my limited memory in the summer of 2011 I embarked on was has prolonged itself to be the most baffling emotional quarrel of my life. Dramatic. I should become a screen writer. This literal embarkation sailed from Fort Lauderdale to tropical islands all over the caribbean they call these vessels "cruises" or whatever that means, but it was on this boat the "Carnival Dream" where I would come to find this emotion love. While ambling around the deck of this boat with a cousin of mine Sebastian, mind you Sebastian was a social chameleon and could fare with interactions alot better than I could, we passed 2 girls one of which was a white blue eyed fare blonde, but the other the site of which behooved me. I couldn't comprehend why this girl made me feel so indistinctly apprehensive. Her confident stride rivaled that of run way models, but her warm personality emitted and was visibly breath taking. Sebastian organized and made me feel less awkward.

I describe her not with attributive connotations implying beauty, because to this day she leaves me in lack of words.

After conversing for 6 days, sharing our first kiss in her stateroom, and my jealous ego getting the better of me we said our goodbyes unsure if we would see each other again.
The night before we left I recalled her telling me that she was staying at a hotel rather close to my home. The emotional withdrawal I felt after leaving her left me on a journey to see her. I called the reception desk at which I gave my best girl impression asking for her name, they were quick to transfer me to her room and before I could make it out I was on the phone with her mother conspiring my secrecy I hung the phone up.
After receiving confirmation as to where she was staying I left with 3 of my closest friends on our skate boards and bikes to see her (I believe now is a good time to mention I was in 8th grade) after traversing across highway intersections, hotel security, and exhausting distances we finally arrived. The 9.3 mile trip, I checked belle ;), was going to pay off for I would see the girl to which my overwhelming emotions toiled for. She came outside to see, the hotel kicked me out and wouldn't allow me to stay on the property unless I was a guest, her confident stride still the same but her smile just as large as ever. After saying goodbye for one last time we kissed the night away in hopes of never forgetting the last 7 days.

I'm sure this is the 2nd most romantic story concerning Leo, a cruise in December,  and a lackluster desire for a girl far out of his league. Seemingly alittle more mild.

Now almost 5 years later i came to visit her. The emotions i felt that night bike riding to the hotel and seeing her on the cruise deck rekindled and I have fallen for her all over again. During my visit I was awkward, quiet, a poor conversationalist, and over bearing (I'm sure), but she still smiled at me as if we never left each other that night.

One night while in her hometown in Iowa, she took me to a secluded soccer field (in perspective to orlando my hometown secluded was more than a proper choice of words) in which the stars and planets no longer were shrouded by the light pollution of my city. It was breath taking, prior to this I told her about my future endeavors regarding astrobiology my study of choice, so she definitely delivered. We laid under the stars with a blanket over us and the cold only forcing tighter grips.

This moment takes precedent over every moment I have ever experienced as the most beautiful, emotionally complex, and breathtaking moment in my life.

The thing with having an occupation regarding science is the what ifs and questions regarding your future research. The unknowns in science makes me excited, but being with her was something I knew. Seemingly my whole life was filled with uncertainties, but with her I feel secure because I am certain of
being in love with her.  Science being the love of my life took a back seat when I was with her. 

And so I will not bother to dissect love or understand it because I have all the assurances I need. I have yet to regard to the distance between Florida and Iowa because I don't care for it. Perhaps one of the few times in my life where caring about the facts didn't matter. She makes the distance minoot and miniscule.

As a planet we are insignificant in regards to the cosmos, but the beauty behind humans is unrivaled by light years. Our thoughts, perceptions, and emotions cannot be challenged and so explore and conquer.

The aggregate of our hopes and sorrows are universal in size. The moral wanning of our combined intellect leads us in directions far more reaching than any physical limitation.

Know this, we are essentially the universe attempting to understand itself, that fact alone leaves me to always believe in the significance of humans as a species and not as a insignificant side attraction in the cosmos.

Syd you make me happier than words can describe. You make being a socially awkward smart ass seem easier. My happiest moments have been with you, you make science less scarey, and you believe I'll end up in space i care for you so much. The only words to describe my feelings sadly are 3 words, but I believe they are the universe in size.

I love you. Forever Belle.

Love, Evil, Hope, Kindness, Science.

We are all humans under the void.